What Are You Actually Looking for When You Ask for a Sign?
There are moments when life feels so uncertain that we start looking everywhere for an answer. A song comes on at just the right time. You keep seeing the same number. A feather appears on your path. Someone says something that feels uncannily relevant. You ask the universe, your loved ones in spirit, your cards — anyone, really — to give you a sign.
Should I stay? Should I go? Am I making the right decision? Is this meant for me?
I think asking for signs is a very human thing to do. When something matters to us and we don’t know what will happen next, we naturally look for something that might help us make sense of it. But over the years, through my work with tarot and mediumship, I’ve become increasingly interested in what sits underneath that request.
Because often, when we ask for a sign, what we are really asking for is reassurance, permission, certainty or connection. Sometimes we simply want to know that we are not navigating everything alone.
Sometimes we just want someone to tell us it will be okay
There is nothing unusual about wanting reassurance when life feels unsettled. When we are standing at a crossroads, waiting for news, worrying about someone we love or trying to make a decision that matters, uncertainty can be deeply uncomfortable.
We want something outside ourselves to settle the question. We want a clear yes or no, a moment that says, This is the right path. Keep going.
The difficulty is that searching for reassurance can sometimes become louder than our own inner knowing. We can find ourselves asking the same question in slightly different ways because the answer we are receiving — from ourselves, from the situation or perhaps from the cards — isn’t quite the answer we were hoping for.
When that happens, I think there is something interesting to pay attention to. Rather than asking, Why am I not getting my sign?, it may be more useful to ask, What am I hoping the sign will give me?
Perhaps you are looking for permission
Sometimes we already know what we want to do. We simply don’t yet feel able to give ourselves permission to do it.
Perhaps you already know that a situation no longer feels right, that you want to change direction, that something needs to be said or that you need something to change. But when the decision feels difficult, asking for a sign can feel easier than trusting yourself.
There can be an unspoken hope that if the universe tells us, or a tarot card confirms it, then somehow we won’t have to carry quite so much responsibility for the choice. If the sign is strong enough, perhaps we will finally feel allowed.
This is where I think spiritual guidance can be incredibly helpful, but also where we need to be careful about what we ask it to do for us. I don’t believe a tarot reading, a medium or any other form of guidance should take your decisions away from you.
At its best, spiritual guidance helps you hear yourself more clearly.
Clarity is not the same as certainty
This is a distinction I come back to again and again in my work.
Certainty asks, Tell me exactly what is going to happen.
Clarity asks, What do I need to understand about what is happening now?
They may sound similar, but they are very different questions.
None of us can control every outcome. Other people have their own choices to make, circumstances shift and life rarely unfolds in the tidy way we would sometimes like it to. Trying to obtain absolute certainty can therefore leave us searching endlessly for another confirmation.
Clarity offers something different. It can help us notice what is true in the present moment: what we are actually feeling, what patterns may be repeating, what we have been avoiding, where our energy is going and what choices are genuinely available to us.
Often, that gives us far more to work with than a prediction ever could.
Sometimes we are simply looking for connection
Not every sign is about making a decision. Sometimes we are grieving. Sometimes we miss someone. Sometimes what we are really longing for is the feeling that a person we loved is still somehow close.
A familiar song playing unexpectedly, a memory appearing at exactly the right moment or something small that immediately brings someone to mind can feel deeply comforting. Whether you understand those experiences spiritually, emotionally or somewhere in between, the feeling they create can be very real.
There may be no decision to make and nothing to “solve”. The moment may simply bring comfort, connection or a reminder of somebody who mattered deeply.
I don’t think we always need to dissect those experiences too quickly. Sometimes it is enough to notice them, allow ourselves to feel what they stir and let the moment mean what it means to us.
What are you hoping the sign will tell you?
The next time you find yourself asking for a sign, it can be interesting to pause before looking for the answer and ask yourself another question first:
What am I hoping the sign will tell me?
Perhaps you want to know that you are safe. Perhaps you want permission to make a change. Perhaps you desperately want reassurance that you have made the right decision. Maybe you simply want to know that someone you miss is still close.
Often, recognising what we are asking for underneath the question can bring its own kind of clarity.
That doesn’t mean I think we should stop noticing signs, trusting intuition or seeking spiritual guidance. Far from it. Tarot, mediumship, meditation and other practices can create valuable space around a situation. They can bring something into focus, offer another perspective or help us see what we have been struggling to see on our own.
What I don’t believe they should do is make you less trusting of yourself or leave you feeling that somebody else holds the answers to your life.
For me, the most valuable guidance is the kind that brings you back to yourself with a little more understanding, a little more perspective and perhaps a little more courage to take the next step.
And perhaps that is one of the most useful ways to think about a sign. It may not always arrive to tell us exactly what to do.
Sometimes it simply invites us to stop long enough to notice what is already asking for our attention.
What are you not seeing clearly yet?
If you are navigating a situation and would value another perspective, my Personal Tarot Guidance readings are written personally for you and delivered privately by email.